Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This will be my last Christmas where I have to fly home in order to celebrate with my family and friends.  This will be my last winter where I can run around in capri pants, a light cardigan, and flats all day long.  This will be my last Christmas break countdown since I won't have Christmas breaks to look forward to the way teachers do.

Besides looking forward to the time away from work, Christmas is my favorite holiday to celebrate.  What other holiday encourages you to wear pants with an elastic waist because you're going to stuff yourself?  Or centers around celebrating the ones you love the most?  Or allows for such surprises and thoughtfulness as you consider what gifts to purchase for others?  Or highlights major religious ideas all over the entire world?

I absolutely love being able to wear tons and tons of clothes to keep warm, snuggling up on the couch with my boyfriend and a blanket while we watch a movie next to the warm fire, and playing out in the snow in the warm, but fading sunlight.  I absolutely love being able to help my Momaceta and Little Kissy make food for the entire family to eat, setting the formal dinning room for meals, and listening to the family talk and laugh while Christmas carols play in the background.  I absolutely love hearing my Popawooski stand at the top of the stairs after we're tucked into bed and say, "A-Ho ho ho, Meeeery Christmas," in his Santa voice, or the next morning to wake us up by singing "Oh, Christmas Tree," as loud as he can from downstairs.  I absolutely love being able to see my Grandma Freeman and Granny Rosie, aunts and uncles, cousins and their new additions to the family--wives, husbands, and children--while we play a board game, attempt an athletic competition (football, soccer, basketball), or play card games.  I absolutely love going to lunch with my girlfriends/sisters and catching up on all of the little things we miss by only talking on the phone.  I absolutely love driving around town to look at all of the Christmas lights in various neighborhoods or set up by organizations for a donation, singing Christmas carols, and drinking peppermint hot chocolate to warm up again.

It's also at this time that things are somewhat bittersweet for me.  My Grandpa Freeman, the patriarch of our family, is not with us.  He passed away in 2006 and I feel his absence every day--especially this time of year--because he so loved the holidays for what they represented:  the birth of Jesus Christ, the family came home, and he was able to eat all day long to his heart's content.  Beyond missing Grandpa Freeman so much, I realize that I won't be able to see my friends here in Arizona to wish them a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in person.  They're so supportive and happy for me and the next chapter I'll begin next May/June, but we all know how deeply we'll miss one another's company on a daily basis.

With so much to be thankful for, I don't really know where to begin.  I'm thankful for my Momaceta and Popawooski who support me, encourage me, love me, believe in me, and want nothing but the best for me.  Without them, I would not have last as long as I have in Arizona.  Being away from them is difficult at best because we are so close.  I'm thankful for my Little Kissy and brother-in-law who manage to make life interesting and comical.  Although we're 20 months apart, my Little Kissy and I are so much a part of each other that I feel like I've missed out on more than I realize by being so far away.  She's there when I'm up, down, sideways, and every direction in-between.  I'm thankful for my Grandma Freeman and Granny Rosie who are still with us.  They're such amazing, strong, beautiful, intelligent, and generous women who have taught me a lot about life, love, and the value of a strong core family.  I'm thankful for my friends in Arizona who've stepped up to the plate to help me along while I've lived here. Some are totally unexpected treasures who will be the reason I return for periodical visits, while others have waxed and waned, but have been no less important in helping me become who I am today.  I'm thankful for my friends in Kansas who have been my cheerleaders from day one.  Ashley, my birthday twin best friend who is the sister Dusti and I have been missing all along.  She has been in the trenches with me and will be standing next to me at the top of Mount Everest if I asked her.  While the distance between Kansas City and Arizona is far, she is available at the drop of a hat.  If there is a celebration, she calls to make sure I'm included, and is a shoulder to cry on when things are tough or sad.  Marci, who calls it like she sees it and challenges my decisions because she is looking at the bigger picture, but ultimately supports me.  Dustin, who is my zen brother.  He helps put perspective on my life and keeps me entertained with life's little quirks.  I'm thankful for my boyfriend, Josh, who is the love of my life.  He is the man of my dreams, and has been able to check off the items on my list that I began in high school, added to in college, and finalized years before I ever met him.  2010 has been the year he redefined what it means to love a person.  Our future lies together in a story that will be a masterpiece.  He is my home.  I know my family and friends are as equally thankful for him--the love he shows me, the happiness he brings me--and for him being the icing on my cake of moving back to Kansas.  If this year was amazing, then I can't even fathom what our years together will hold.  He is my little lover boy (Stevie Ray Vaughn), my farm boy ("Princess Bride"), and the man I love with all of my heart.  He is mine and I am forever thankful for him.  

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

Today is the first time it's felt like fall this year.  Waking up to 43 degree weather outside at 7:15 this morning finally wore me down to put my flannel sheets and thermal blanket on the bed for the remainder of 2010.  This is my absolute favorite time of year.  I love to see the leaves turning from vibrant green to carmel, copper, orange, crimson, and brown.  They way they crunch under my feet is a wonderful sound, only to be followed by scooping them up into a big pile and then jumping into them.  Feeling the cool air against my skin reminds me of how nice it is to wrap up into sweaters, quilts, coats, and scarves or sit next to a fire in the evenings.  Seeing and hearing the rain roll through town and add a sense of dreariness to the atmosphere makes me appreciate all of the wonders that mother nature is capable of producing at any given moment.

What this time of year really signifies for me is the sense of family and friends.  The thing that I miss most about Kansas is my dearly, dearly loved ones who remain there.  It's during this time of year that I would love to get together with my sister or best friend and drink hot chocolate while chit-chatting about life, love, and everything in between; come home and bake pumpkin bread or banana nut bread to give to my boyfriend or save for myself; to curl up with a homemade quilt and a good book next to the fire and spend a few hours lost in another world.

In a few weeks it will be Thanksgiving.  This will be the third and final Thanksgiving that I will be spending without my biological family and it's somewhat bittersweet.  Having friends who invite me into their homes, families, and hearts is such a blessing, that I feel that I will never be able to repay them the kindness they've shown me.  My first Thanksgiving apart from my family was spent in Yuma.  I cried when they called and wished me a happy Thanksgiving on my Momaceta's phone.  The upside?  I was in capri pants standing in Mexico to buy odds and ends.  Last year was spent in Prescott Valley, Cherry, and Mayer.  Baking three different types of cheesecake for each Thanksgiving was a little much, but I enjoyed the look on everyone's face when they took a bite of their homemade dessert.  This year, I will be spending Thanksgiving in Mayer with my surrogate mother and father.  This couple has done more for me than they will ever realize and I hope that I can share with them how much they mean to me during this last holiday season.

Just a thought....Why wait until the holiday season to show people how much you care when you can do it so much more often every day of the year?

Currently listening to:  Mumford and Sons Sigh No More
Currently reading: Hector's Search for Happiness